Much "To Do" About Nothing

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Now this is how you advertise that you have a position opening! WOOT

August 5th, 2011

Got this off of WOOT’s website (Should be WOOT.com if they didn’t change anything), I’m not lauging at the position in any way or form, I’m simply loving their attitude.
BTW if you are thinking of applying to their Project Manager position you will need to brush up on your Elvish (Lord Of The Ring).

They are looking for a Press Assistant you can give it a go….

PRESS ASSISTANT (WOOT SERVICES LLC)

You played your heart out, but the major leagues… well, you gave it your best shot. And maybe some other people had the contacts, but nobody will ever catch things better than you. If only you had a job, some sort of job that let you show off your catching talents. It wouldn’t even matter if that same job also required you to pull, and squeegee, and maybe provide quality control on the side. As long as you could catch things, the way you’ve always wanted to do, ever since you were a child. A job like that, you’d be happy in it forever, wouldn’t you? Well, friend… it could just be your lucky day.

In this job, you’ll learn: a bunch of movements that might play well on the dance floor. Catch, pull, set, turn, catch, pull, set, turn, you do that a little slower and you’ve basically mastered “The Robot”!

Intangible benefits: you’re the only Woot employee with the words “blow out gun” in your job description. Cherish that.

Potential hazards: only in a blackout.

If Woot were a superhero team, you’d be: the one with the blow out gun. A.K.A. CAPTAIN MOST AWESOME

Degrees of separation from CEO: Just think of it as “plausible deniability” if you like. There are some jobs that can’t be traced back to the top. If caught, you’ll have to claim you were acting alone.

Worst part of the job: quality control. The first time you have to look in the eyes of an eager young misprint and say it’s not working out… well, it’ll break your heart, no matter how strong you think you are.

It’ll go better if: you don’t lord the blow out gun thing over everyone’s head. Be humble about it.

Make sure you bring: your lunch. It’ll save money, and it’ll be healthier in the long run. Here’s a tip: instead of potato chips, try crunchy celery!

Key Responsibility Areas:

  • Catching shirts off the end of dryer
  • Pulling printed Shirts off of pallets
  • Providing quality control and feedback for the press operator
  • Blowing out shirts with blow out gun
  • Squeegee/screen washing and preparation
  • General cleanup in production area
  • Assist with stocking of blank shirt inventory
  • Consult with Press Operator, Production Lead and Production Manager

Job duties include but are not limited to:

  • Assisting in screen reclaim and prep area
  • Assisting with other tasks as needed

Qualifications:

  • Ability to follow specific guidelines and processes
  • Ability to do repetitive tasks
  • Ability to lift 50 lbs

Salary: Based on experience

Woot Services LLC is an equal opportunity employer.

Much "To Do" About Nothing

{} Nothing is no thing, denoting the absence of something. Nothing is a pronoun associated with nothingness.

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